im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
