I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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