I'm drive I can fine osifer
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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