this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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