it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
