i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
