her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize