hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
