My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
