I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
