doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
