I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I want to have your abortion
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
