there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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