Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
