The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
