yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
