are you so shy because you have an std?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
