I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
