Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
