you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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