I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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