What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you traded sex for a burrito?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
