That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Randomize
