Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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