omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
is it fun? or sober?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
