If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize