Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize