i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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