it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
