Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
