Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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