Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
