i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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