Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
