dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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