I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
