nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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