She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
