You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize