I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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