wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
