i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
