Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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