I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We smell like vodka and hangover
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
