think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
