Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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