hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
honey bunches of taint.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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