i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
