Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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