Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
