Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
