Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
