I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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