trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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