he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize