i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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