i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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