Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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