You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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