Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
