I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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