I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
