i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
