hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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