happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
