Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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