I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
