Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
