My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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