im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
