I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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