Who did Billy Mays play for?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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