BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
