So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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